i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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