Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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