first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
