It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
