I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
