Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
