I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize