is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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