Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
