soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
