I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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