All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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