exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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