I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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