I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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