I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
