I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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