Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Shame is for Republicans.
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