Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
