I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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