Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do herpes really smell.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i believe in u and ur pee
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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