Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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