How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
