I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
God, I missed his penis.
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