Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
