you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you traded sex for a burrito?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
