She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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