Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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