You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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