I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Houston, we have a blender
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
