Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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