So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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