I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
