careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
