I don't usually arrange sex via text message
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize