Having a random hookup so left but love u
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
