my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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