i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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