New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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