Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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