i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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