Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You are a genius and a whore.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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