The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.