guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No subtext here. People are naked.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You pole danced in your parka.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
