im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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