im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
