someone threw a dead crab at me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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