All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
