I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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