Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
