i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
