I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
