I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize