u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
