just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
