Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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