"it" just moved
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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