I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
