My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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